New Years, 2 days Early

With Bastian growing and growing, I don't have a lot of time to blog anymore. So, I have to do this when I get the time. Bastian is napping on his daddy, so I suppose that means I have the time to blog, right?

Every year I make resolutions, and I rarely ever follow through with them. I could resolve to follow through with my resolutions, but my track record shows that that won't really work anyway. Despite that, I will resolve to follow through on my resolutions and to put into effect some means of a checks and balances system in order to make sure these things are done. So, here goes:

My New Year's Resolutions are thus:

1. Lose Weight
- My goal in this is to lose 10% of my body weight within 6 months, and then 10% of that body weight in the remaining 6 months.
- Develop an exercise program and stick with it. It must contain some kind of cardio and strength training 3-4 times a week.
- Reduce intake of sugar.
- Drink 3-4 glasses of water daily
- NO SODA

2. DESTRESS
- Make necessary cuts of people who stress me out.
- Recite an affirmation everyday
- 15 minutes of Mommy Meditation time at night
- Once a week, blog about 3 positive things that happened that week even if it is just waking up to my husband and son

3. Do well in school

4. Get health in check so I can obtain employment
-Take all medications as scheduled
- Watch my diabetes
- keep all appointments

5. Be a better Mommy, Wife, and Daughter

x-posted to Facebook, Livejournal, Blogger

Merry Christmas to you, and your stupid dog too.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Bastian has opened his presents. If you call what we did opening. Since he's 3 month old, we put some of his presents into a stocking and took them out and showed them to him. He enjoyed them. Then we read The Christmas Story and watched Horton Hears a Who. He's napping now.

It didn't go off without a hitch, however. Chuck and CJ came over, and Chuck brought his stupid dog. This dog is an untrained Doberman that likes to be in everyone's face. He scares Bastian, and no one seems to care. So now, we get to keep Bastian in the bedroom for most of the day because dumbass brought his stupid dog. Yeah, Merry frickin' Christmas to you too, asshole.

Ah, it's Thursday

It is 10:34 AM on a snowy Thursday morning. Good grief, I would much rather be sleeping. And little guy is taking a nap with grandma, so why aren't I? Oh yeah, because the dentist office called me bright and early to see if I could take an appointment today. I decided, no, I wanted to wait until this infection is gone before I let them create anymore open wounds in my mouth. So, here I sit, a comfortable 56 degrees in the room and steadily rising because, apparently, I am the only one who thinks 56 is comfortable. Waiting for my little guy to get up. Mom and Chris are supposed to put plastic up on the windows, so I will take my shift with Bastian then. And while Chris does the litterbox. Then I might let Chris have some time with his son so I can send out a thing to my advisor and help Mom get the bulk of the housework done. If we split it up, we can do it! Theeeennnnnnn... family bonding time over Frosty or Rudolph or some other Christmas show I've seen a million and one times but Bastian would absolutely adore? I think we can fanagle that.

I woke up nearly painless today. How long it will last, I have no idea, but I think it is a good sign. Maybe sooner rather than later I will wake up completely painless and stay that way. Huzzah! A little bit of the no pain thing until I get my wisdom teeth out please.

Chris got his new phone yesterday. He is adoring it. If you want the number message me on facebook. All I ask is that you remember it is not my phone, don't spam me with messages, get upset because I can not answer right away, or expect me to run the phone bill up calling you all the time. Chris is nice enough to let me use it, don't abuse that privilege.

It's beginning to feel a little more like Christmas with the white snow and the ice and the just general YUCK. Yule... ahhhhh... I get to have more work done on my teeth. So much fun.

December 1st

Happy December, everyone!

December offers holidays such as Yule and the Christian/secular Christmas. We got Bastian a new car seat stroller combination for Christmas, a Christmas outfit, new pack of bottles to get rid of the ones daddy and I hate, and new pacifiers. He's two months old, there's not a whole lot we can give the little guy.

First snow was last night. Yay. Not really. The next couple of weeks are super busy. We have a meeting with OWF today at one, tomorrow I have WIC at 1030, a doctor's appointment at 2. 3, 4, 5 nothing. 6th Chris has therapy and a doctors appointment. 7th nothing, 8th Chris has to be at OSU for an appointment with the neurosurgeon. 9th therapy for me. And then, so far nothing until the 13th when we both go in for dentist work. But we'll have therapy and random stuff that just isn't scheduled yet. Busy busy busy.

Todays plans: OWF @ 1PM, put laundry away, dust dining room/living room, floors, litterbox, update Bastian's baby book.

Thanksgiving

Gobble, gobble, gobble.

I was watching the History channel last night with Dad and saw that they way we were told Thanksgiving originated didn't actually happen. Now, I wonder what actually happened, but don't really want to research it. Maybe later today, as it would be nice to know. It feels kind of like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. Thanksgiving, I thought, was the one holiday that didn't have massive lies surrounding it. Well, the Pilgrims and Indians being friends was a lie, wasn't it? Smallpox is not exactly something one friend gives to another willingly. So I wonder now, just how FAKE is Thanksgiving? It wasn't invented by the card company, because who gives a card saying "Happy Thanksgiving!?" In a weird way, I wish they hadn't spoiled the illusion.

So, I thought this year it would be nice to do a blog about what I am thankful for. Last post was kind of just me complaining, this post is going to be me being thankful. I'll do a special prayer later today, maybe go for a walk and do a little offering. MAYBE. It's pretty dang cold and I'm already sick and have a pretty busy day. Prayer yes. Walk/offering, maybe. Anywho, on with the show.

This year I am thankful for:

1. The family I have left living. Mom, Dad, Craig, Chuck, Katrina, Andrew, Hannah, Aunt Sue and Uncle Bill, Uncle Eddy (Sue's first husband), Aunt Brenda and Uncle Jeff, my cousins, my neice, Jasmine even if her mommy and I don't talk anymore I love her dearly. And anyone I forgot to mention.

2. My husband and my son who complete me and make even the hardest days worth living.

3. The generosity of both of our families. Without them, we would not have been able to keep our son and raise him.

4. I am thankful that Bastian is out of the NICU, home with us, and in relatively good health.

5. My own good health.

6. That my family and I have a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone !!!!

2 months old, and other things

Sebastian Riley is two months old. Well, technically, 2 months, 5 days, 19 minutes, as I type this. I love that little boy more than life itself.

Weight at birth: 6lbs, 3.4 oz

Weight now: 9lbs, 15 oz

Length at birth: 18.5 in

Length now: 21 in

The Bad:

- Night time sleep. He doesn't like to sleep in his Rock n Play Glider. He likes to sleep with Grandma, and cries until he does.

- He's STILL eating every two hours. 3-4 oz every two hours. That seems like too much.

- He's got a nasty virus. Coughing, sneezing, throw up, and diarrhea. Going on 5 days now.

The Good:

- He's catching up to his developmental milestones. He's holding focus better, getting more control over his arms, and lifting his head during tummy time. He also makes noises and tries to communicate with us.

- Not as much crying and screaming with bath time and diaper changes.

- He has the most beautiful smile in the world.

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This past year, or actually, the past five years have been very trying on myself and my family. I moved to Florida, and if any of you remember, that was a train wreck and a half. Annette found me, sent the cops to my house with a message of "call your mother," which should have warned me that I shouldn't get involved. I didn't think, stayed with her for about six months before venturing out on my own in Missouri. Found Rob again, but this time I was grown up, and the magical allure he had for me when I was younger wore off quickly and I realized that I was better off without him. String of bad boyfriends ending with Bryan, the physically and emotionally abusive compulsive liar and cheater. Then I met Chris. My uncle John died. We moved to Ohio. My uncle Bill died. Dad and I got into it, we moved to Virginia with Chris' family. My aunt AnnaMae died. My Dad went into the hospital, was diagnosed with COPD. My brother, Craig, went into the hospital, being diagnosed with diabetes, his glucose levels at almost coma range. I got pregnant. Had a rough pregnancy with diabetes and pregnancy induced hypertension. Went pre-eclamptic. Was hospitalized in preterm labor for four days. Mom had a massive heart attack and almost didn't make it. I had my son 7 weeks early and he spent 19 days in the NICU. We came to Ohio for a visit, decided to stay for a while to help Mom out. Chris's hallucinations picked up. He had a seizure. Spent four days in OSU. They did nothing. Sprinkle that with the economy bring crap and us being in between jobs throughout most of this time and the drama that comes from knowing Annette Knecht, Jennifer Knecht, Alyson Strecker, Bryan Noel, and Rob Fredericksen. Yeah, it's been a fantastic five years for me and mine. *eye roll*

But, that being said, we're about due for a turn around. And while I am generally the most pessimistic person you will meet, I am trying to be optimistic right now. We qualified for state aid. And yes, I feel horrible accepting it. But I figure, I've been working since I was 14, I've paid my taxes. And we will be on it only as long as it is needed. I am not going to sit here and accept the cash aid and foodstamps and NOT look for a job. I am still actively looking, and I will find one, and we will be self sufficient. This aid is just to hold us over and make sure my son is fed and diapered until I can make those things happen. IT WILL GET BETTER. I no longer talk to the people who caused me drama in my life. Hopefully things will start to look better.

I am going to get myself back into therapy. I can't really hold down a job without my medication, but once I get it, I should be fine. It doesn't help that I've been dealing with a depression so bad that I have thought of suicide. Only once in the month of November, which is an accomplishment for me. That's something I'll address in therapy. So far I've only thought about it, but with my son, I can't even think about it. That's why I'm blogging again. No one really ever reads my stuff, not really. So I can get away with writing pretty much whatever I want.

I have a lot I need to get done today. Put laundry away and dust the bedroom, help Mom clean the dining room, do pies and stuffing prep for tomorrow. I should probably get off the computer and get to it, huh?